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Wouldn’t it be cool if you could stop time and then run around a play pranks on everyone while they were frozen in their tracks? Step 5 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will not only show you how to stop time, it will tell you what to do once it’s stopped.

If you want to take over the world with style, you’re going to need robots. Evil robots. Armies of evil robots. And cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. Step 4 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to build robots, turn them evil, and maybe even teach them how to bake.

Every evil genius needs a place to get away to plot the overthrow of humanity. A bunker. A fortress. A hideout. A really big closet. Whatever. Step 3 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to build and equip a lair that’s perfect for hatching your diabolical plans.

You’re going to need a better name than Brandon or Emma if you plan to take over the planet. Step 2 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to make a name for yourself.