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My Puppy Plays Piano

My puppy plays piano.
It’s the strangest thing to see.
It seems, while I was practicing,
he learned by watching me.

He started out on chopsticks,
then he learned to play some Bach.
It wasn’t long before he knew
the blues and classic rock.

He also taught my kitten how
so they could play duets,
and then they taught guitar and drums
to all my other pets.

They formed a band and practiced hard
and traveled all around,
and instantly got famous
for their catchy “Pet Rock” sound.

They made a smash hit record
and it wasn’t very long
before my pets were millionaires
because they wrote this song.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Taking over the world can be loads of fun, especially when you’re learning to construct giant space lasers, blow up the moon, rip the fabric of space-time, invent nano-robot armies, and create mutant zombie kitten viruses. Step 8 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will teach you how to do all of these and more.

In your quest for ultimate power, you’re going to need to create armies of giant, slobbering mutant monsters and lots of minions to do your bidding. Step 7 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World is the perfect resource for learning how to clone monsters and recruit minions. Get it now before it’s too late.

No matter what kind of villain you are — Mad Scientist, Evil Genius, or Tin Pot Dictator — you are going to want to dress the part. Step 6 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will educate you on the proper outfits for any would-be world ruler.