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My teacher calls me sweetie cakes.
My classmates think it’s funny
to hear her call me angel face
or pookie bear or honey.
She calls me precious baby doll.
She calls me pumpkin pie
or doodle bug or honey bunch
or darling butterfly.
My class is so embarassing
I need to find another;
just any class at all
in which the teacher’s not my mother.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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A candy bar.
A piece of cake.
A lollipop.
A chocolate shake.
A jelly donut.
Chocolate chips.
Some gummy worms
and licorice whips.
A candy cane.
A lemon drop.
Some bubblegum
and soda pop.
Vanilla wafers.
Cherry punch.
My mom slept in
while I made lunch.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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The clock-maker Finnegan Flanagan Fox
makes nothing but genuine grandfather clocks.
As soon as you see them you’ll know that it’s true;
His clocks all have children and grandchildren too.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I taught my cat to clean my room,
to use a bucket, brush and broom,
to dust my clock and picture frames,
and pick up all my toys and games.
He puts my pants and shirts away,
and makes my bed, and I would say
it seems to me it’s only fair
he puts away my underwear.
In fact, I think he’s got it made.
I’m not as happy with our trade.
He may pick up my shoes and socks,
but I clean out his litterbox.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to “B,”
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can “C.”
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of “T.”
Now the pool is just an “ool”
because I took a “P.”
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I’ll ride on a rainbow
to soar through the sky.
I’ll ride on a kite
as it flies way up high.
I’ll ride on a dragon.
I’ll ride a balloon.
I’ll ride on a rocket
and ride on the moon.
I’ll ride on the wind
and the sun and the stars,
on floating bananas
and flying guitars.
I’ll ride on a cloud
and a unicorn too.
I’ll ride in the seat
of a magical shoe.
But why would I ride
on the sun and the stars?
It’s so much more fun
than just riding in cars.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer’s on the blink.
I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn’t looking.
My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.
Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.
Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.
I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
“I think you’ll find it’s easier
to do the work instead.”
–Kenn Nesbitt
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My teacher took my iPod.
She said they had a rule;
I couldn’t bring it into class
or even to the school.
She said she would return it;
I’d have it back that day.
But then she tried my headphones on
and gave a click on Play.
She looked a little startled,
but after just a while
she made sure we were occupied
and cracked a wicked smile.
Her body started swaying.
Her toes began to tap.
She started grooving in her seat
and rocking to the rap.
My teacher said she changed her mind.
She thinks it’s now okay
to bring my iPod into class.
She takes it every day.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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At Dizzy Dottie’s Dog Salon
we’ll fix your fido’s fur.
We will clip and comb his canine coat
and color his coiffure.
We will primp your pomeranian
and gussy up your pug.
We will brush your beagle’s back
and scrub his scruffy little mug.
Could your poodle use a crewcut?
Does your boxer need a bob?
Want an afro for your spaniel?
Come let Dottie’s do the job.
Get your setter new extensions.
Send your shepherd for a shave.
Bring your harrier for highlights
or your whippet for a wave.
From a bouffant to a beehive,
from a buzz-cut to a bun,
all the hair-dos here at Dottie’s
are affordable and fun.
Drive your doggy down to Dottie’s
for our groomings and shampoos,
where we don’t do cuts for kitties
but we do do doggy dos.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I found an empty cardboard box.
I made myself a fort.
I had to squeeze and twist and turn
and crumple and contort
to climb inside, but now I’m quite
embarrassed to report
I’m stuck inside this cardboard box
that’s clearly much too short.
Has anybody got a box
that’s bigger than a quart?
–Kenn Nesbitt
