No matter what kind of villain you are — Mad Scientist, Evil Genius, or Tin Pot Dictator — you are going to want to dress the part. Step 6 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will educate you on the proper outfits for any would-be world ruler.
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Wouldn’t it be cool if you could stop time and then run around a play pranks on everyone while they were frozen in their tracks? Step 5 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will not only show you how to stop time, it will tell you what to do once it’s stopped.
If you want to take over the world with style, you’re going to need robots. Evil robots. Armies of evil robots. And cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. Step 4 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to build robots, turn them evil, and maybe even teach them how to bake.
Every evil genius needs a place to get away to plot the overthrow of humanity. A bunker. A fortress. A hideout. A really big closet. Whatever. Step 3 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to build and equip a lair that’s perfect for hatching your diabolical plans.
You’re going to need a better name than Brandon or Emma if you plan to take over the planet. Step 2 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how to make a name for yourself.
If you’re going to take over the world on your summer vacation, you’re going to need to become a lot smarter right away. Step 1 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will show you how.
The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World falls into the clutches of would-be super-villains everywhere July 1, 2011. To prepare for this impending calamity, I have produced this short video trailer. Be afraid.
This terrific video was created by a fan, an English teacher in Spain, rapping my poem “My Turtle is the Sporting Sort” to Chris Brown’s song “Look at Me Now.” How fun!
If you’ve created a video of one of my poems, please do let me know about it. I’d love to see it and I might even post it here on the website.