My dad's a secret agent.
He's an undercover spy.
He's the world's best detective.
He's the perfect private eye.

He's a Pinkerton, a gumshoe,
He's a snoop and he's a sleuth.
He's unrivaled at detecting
and uncovering the truth.

He's got eyesight like an eagle.
He's got hearing like a bat.
He can out-smell any bloodhound.
He's as stealthy as a cat.

He can locate nearly anything
with elementary ease.
But no matter how he looks and looks
my dad can't find his keys!

--Kenn Nesbitt

This poem appears in the book
The Aliens Have Landed at Our School!