I'm Chester Sylvester the Jester.
I strike a peculiar pose.
I dress up in plaid polyester
with pens sticking out of my nose.

My hat is a live armadillo.
My pockets are brimming with cheese.
I chew on a camelhair pillow
and swing from a flying trapeze.

I often wear spandex pajamas
with paisley and polka-dot socks,
and bleat like a roomful of llamas
while sticking my head in a box.

I cover myself in confetti,
with mayonnaise poured in my hair,
then stand on my head in spaghetti
while waving my hands in the air.

I've studied my skill all semester.
I'm utterly crazed and berserk.
I'm Chester Sylvester the Jester;
please help me... I'm looking for work.

--Kenn Nesbitt