Andy Handy’s hardware store
sells things that no one needs;
A doorknob for a doghouse door,
A kit for growing weeds,

Storage bins for storing air,
A hook for holding hooks,
A key that opens locks of hair,
A battery for books,

Garbage for your garbage pails,
A wrench for cracking nuts,
A hammer for your fingernails,
A saw for papercuts,

Drills for drilling holes in socks,
Some tulip bulbs for lamps,
Extension cords for broken clocks,
A clamp for clamping clamps,

Glue for plugging showerheads,
And paint for painting drapes,
A mower for your flowerbeds,
Some tape for taping tapes,

A pack of poison ivy seeds,
You’ll find all this and more,
Yes, everything you’ll never need’s
at Handy’s Hardware Store.