Reading Level: Grade 3

Poems suitable for reading by 8-9 year olds.

My Mouse is Misbehaving

my-mouse-is-misbehaving

My mouse is misbehaving
and my keyboard’s on the fritz.
The computer’s not computing,
but is dropping bytes and bits.

The hard drive’s click-click-clicking
and the printer’s spitting ink.
The CD’s started stuttering.
The screen is on the blink.

The memory is failing.
Things are grinding to a halt.
And, even worse, I realize
it’s probably my fault.

I thought it would be funny.
It was really just a joke.
I never thought the whole computer
might go up in smoke.

I guess I learned my lesson:
When it comes to your PCs,
it’s best if you don’t ever try
to feed the mouse some cheese.

Mr. Obvious

mr-obvious

Hello, I’m Mr. Obvious.
I point out things you know.
I’ll tell you that the water’s wet.
I’ll say that plants can grow.

I might remark that night is dark.
I’ll add that grass is green.
And I’ll repeat that sugar’s sweet
and washing makes you clean.

I’ll let you know that snails are slow,
and one plus one is two,
and then declare that squares are square
and state the sky is blue.

You see, I’m kind, so I don’t mind
explaining simple things.
And when I do this just for you
I love the joy it brings.

So take a chair and let me share,
and when my lecture ends,
I hope you’ll try to tell me why
I don’t have any friends.

December I Went Shopping

december-i-went-shopping

December I went shopping
for presents for my friends.
I bought a bunch of knickknacks
and a lot of odds and ends.

I picked the kinds of presents
that everyone enjoys:
Computer games and candy
and a wagon-load of toys.

I brought them home and wrapped them.
I placed them near the tree,
but liked them all so much
that I unwrapped them just for me.

Would it be wrong to keep them?
I guess it just depends.
Can someone loan me money
to go shopping for my friends?

I Lost My Head

i-lost-my-head

Before I go to sleep each night
I first remove my head,
and set it gently down upon
the nightstand by my bed.
And every morning when I wake,
I stretch my arms and yawn,
then pick my head up carefully
and put it right back on.

I put my head on backward
when I woke up yesterday,
and, every time I turned my head,
I looked the other way.
I started walking into walls
and falling down the stairs.
I stumbled into tables
and I tumbled over chairs.

Today is looking even worse;
I woke up in my bed
and felt around my nightstand
but I couldn’t find my head.
I hope I find it shortly.
I’d be sad if it were gone.
From now on when I go to bed
I think I’ll leave it on.

The Gorgon Sisters

cave-entrance

The three of us are widely known.
We’re each a horrid, haggard crone.
We croak and cry a mournful moan.
A glance at us, you’ll turn to stone.

Our hair is made of living snakes.
To hear their hiss will give you shakes.
We love the savage sound it makes.
We’ll laugh until your spirit breaks.

But solitude is all we crave,
So don’t intrude within our cave.
Regardless if you’re strong or brave,
We’ll send you swiftly to your grave.

As we draw near, your heart will thud.
Your breath with stop, your brain will flood.
Our wicked wail will chill your blood,
And cause your veins to fill with mud.

And if there is the slightest breeze,
Our stench will make you choke and wheeze.
You’ll gasp and tumble to your knees.
We smell like Gorgon-zola cheese.

When Flowers Wake Each Morning

when-flowers-wake

When flowers wake each morning
they don’t have to make their beds.
And lettuce leaves aren’t told to comb
the hair upon their heads.

You’d never tell asparagus
it shouldn’t play with spears.
You’d never ask a stalk of corn
to wash behind its ears.

A mushroom doesn’t have to
clean its room, and you’ll agree
a tree won’t have to study hard
to learn geometry.

I guess it should be obvious
from listening to my rant.
I’m tired of being a person;
I would rather be a plant.

Our Mother Threw the Pie Away

our-mother-threw-the-pie-away

Our mother threw the pie away.
She dumped out all the Cokes.
She kept the beans and leafy greens
and leeks and artichokes.

She chucked the cheese and chocolate chips.
She pitched the pudding out,
but kept the beets and broccoli
and jars of sauerkraut.

She canned the cakes and cookies
and she ditched the doughnuts too,
but kept the kale and carrot sticks
and celery and tofu.

She jettisoned the junk food.
She tossed out every treat.
So now our house has only foods
that no one wants to eat.

This happens to us every year.
It seems to be our fate.
Our mom goes on a diet
and we all start losing weight.

My Kitty Likes My Goldfish

My kitty likes my goldfish.
My kitty likes my mice.
My kitty likes my parakeets.
She thinks they’re all so nice.

The way she mews so sweetly,
the way she sits and stares,
I’d have to say it’s obvious
how much my kitty cares.

She doubtlessly adores them
and thinks so highly of them.
She treats them so attentively
it’s clear that she must love them.

But, tragically, they disappeared
the other afternoon.
My kitty seems so lonely now.
I hope they come back soon.

I Found Myself Upon a Cow

It happened once, I don’t know how,
I found myself upon a cow.
The cow was startled, too, to see
that she was sitting under me.
And underneath the cow, a hog
was resting right atop a dog.
Below them in this lofty heap
were piled a goat, a duck, a sheep,
a buffalo, a horse, a yak,
and at the bottom of the stack,
a rather worried-looking cat,
extremely wide and very flat.

So if you never want your cat
to wind up wide and round and flat
then learn this lesson here and now:
Don’t ever sit upon a cow.

Clippity Cloppity Bippity Boop

Clippity cloppity bippity boop.
Flippity floppity slippity sloop.
Hippity hoppity dippity doop.
Zippity zoppty pippity poop.

Mippity moppity trippity troop.
Lippity loppity vippity voop.
Nippity noppity grippity groop.
Tippity toppity quippity quoop.

Drippity droppity jippity joop.
Blippity bloppity sippity soop.
Yippity yoppity whippity whoop.
I wrote this whole poem so I could say, “poop.”