Reading Level: Grade 2

Poems suitable for reading by 7-8 year olds.

Bigfoot’s Bewilderment

bigfoots-bewilderment

My head is humongous.
My neck is tremendous.
My legs are so long that
my stride is stupendous.

My chest is impressive.
My torso’s titanic.
My arms are enormous.
My hands are gigantic.

My thighs are the size
of a couple of boulders.
I’m thick in the hips and
immense in the shoulders.

I’m broad as a tree trunk.
I’m tall as a tower.
My epic proportions
could cause you to cower.

I’m big in the belly.
I’m wide in the seat.
I’m really unclear why
I’m known for my feet.

My Family’s Fond of Gadgets

my-familys-fond-of-gadgets

My family’s fond of gadgets
and new technology.
My mother likes her radio.
My father likes TV.

My sister likes to dance around
the house with headphones on.
My brother plays on his PC
until the break of dawn.

The baby has a smartphone
and a touchscreen-tablet too.
If we had pets, I’m sure
that even they would have a few.

We chat with instant messaging.
We email and we text.
We’re always looking forward
to the gadget we’ll get next.

The power went out recently.
That day was like no other.
Our screens went blank and, strange but true,
we talked to one another.

Glurp the Purple Alien

I’m Glurp, the purple alien.
I come from outer space.
I have a purple body.
I have a purple face.
I use my purple tentacles
to dine on purple food.
The treats I find the tastiest
are purely purple-hued.
I’ll eat a purple burger.
I’ll slurp a purple shake.
I’ll feast on purple pickles and
partake of purple cake.
I’ll nosh on purple noodles.
I’ll feast on purple fries.
I’ll munch on purple macaroons
and purple pizza pies.
I haven’t seen your planet,
but, if I ever do,
you’d better not wear purple.
I might just dine on you.

The Biggest Burp Ever

the-biggest-burp-ever

The record, so far, for the world’s biggest burp,
is held by Belinda Melinda McNurp.
It wasn’t on purpose. She wasn’t to blame.
Her tummy just rumbled, and out the burp came.

Belinda then instantly saw her mistake.
The ground began trembling and starting to shake.
That rumble was suddenly more of a roar.
It busted the windows and knocked down the door.

Her mother and father both covered their ears.
Her brother and sister were nearly in tears.
Her puppy looked panicked and yipped as he fled.
Her kitten just cowered and covered his head.

The cars on the street began skidding and stopping.
The shoppers in shops started dropping their shopping.
The squirrels all burrowed. The birds flew away.
The sun disappeared for the rest of the day

as clouds began thundering all around town.
The trees toppled over. The buildings fell down.
Tornadoes and hurricanes blew through the sky.
The rivers flowed backward. The oceans ran dry.

Volcanoes erupted from Perth to Peru.
The Grand Canyon widened. Mount Everest grew.
The earth started spinning a different direction.
And, worst of all, I lost my iPhone connection.

Belinda was pretty embarrassed alright,
but she was well-mannered, and very polite.
And that’s why she knew it would all be okay
when she said, “Excuse me,” and went on her way.

My Sister’s Pretty Picky

my-sisters-pretty-picky

My sister’s pretty picky.
She likes to pick a fight.
She always wants to pick the film
on family movie night.

She picks her teeth with toothpicks.
She’s skilled at picking locks.
She picks her Minecraft pickaxe
to pick away at blocks.

She’s always picking flowers.
She picks on her guitar.
She’s even picky when she’s
picking out a candy bar.

I only wish that, now and then,
she might pick up her clothes.
I also wish she wasn’t
quite so picky with her nose.

What a Ham

what-a-ham

My brother’s always such a ham.
That’s my biggest beef.
His puns are all so cheesy
and he will not lettuce leaf.

His gags are somewhat onionique.
They make us want to cry.
They’re often sort of corny,
and they’re never all that rye.

And even if we’re chili,
in thyme he’ll find a reason
to pepper us with salty jokes
no matter what the season.

I mustard up the courage
to dessert one afternoon.
He lightly toasted me and said,
“I’ll ketchup with you soon.”

But now I’m in a pickle.
See, a nickel’s all I’ve got.
He says his jokes are ten cents each.
I mayo him a lot.

My Hare Is Resting on My Head

my-hare-is-resting-on-my-head

My hare is resting on my head.
I also have bear feet.
A swallow’s in my throat
and there are calves below my seat.

A seal is on my lips today.
A slug is on my fist.
A mussel’s on my shoulder
and a tick is on my wrist.

A wasp is on my yellow jacket
where it likes to bee.
A fly is on my zipper,
though I wish that it would flea.

My doe is in my wallet
and my sole is on my shoe.
I hope my tail was not a boar.
What’s gnu, my deer, with ewe?

If I Had a Dollar

if-i-had-a-dollar

If I had a dollar
I know what I’d do;
I’d go to the mall
and I’d spend it on you.

I’d shop for a shoelace,
or maybe a sock,
or maybe a ribbon,
or maybe a rock.

I’d pay for a pickle,
a pear, or a plum.
I’d get you a grape,
or a half-pack of gum.

I’d spring for some string
if the string were on sale.
I’d purchase a pinky-sized
pink plastic pail.

I’d pick up a pencil,
I’d give you a stick.
I’d buy you a bit of
a board or a brick.

I like you, I do,
but I’m sorry to say
you can’t get a lot
for a dollar today.

I Eat Spaghetti with a Spoon

i-eat-spaghetti-with-a-spoon

I eat spaghetti with a spoon.
For soup I use a fork.
I drink my soda from a bottle
stopped up with a cork.

I have a pair of chopsticks
that I use for cutting cheese,
a spatula for salads,
and a knife for eating peas.

I drink my pizza from a cup,
eat ice cream with a stick,
and when I want a glass of milk
my strainer does the trick.

I slurp salami through a straw.
I don’t get too much in.
But that’s the way I always stay
so fabulously thin.

It’s Raining in My Bedroom

its-raining-in-my-bedroom

It’s raining in my bedroom.
It’s been this way all week.
I think the upstairs neighbor’s plumbing
might have sprung a leak.
They may be on vacation.
They must be out of town.
And, all the while, my bedroom rain
continues pouring down.
My shoes have gotten soggy.
My bed is growing mold.
A pond is forming on my floor.
It’s all so wet and cold,
that frogs have started spawning.
An otter wandered through
with salmon splashing upstream,
and some guy in a canoe.
Now waves are growing larger.
The weather’s turning grim.
A tide is rising rapidly.
I’m glad that I can swim.
My parents called the plumber.
He’s nowhere to be seen.
Does anybody know where I
can buy a submarine?