Tag: family

Back-to-School Shopping

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

Back-to-School Shopping

My sleeves are too short
and my jeans are too tight.
My shirt is so small
that it doesn’t fit right.

My hat is too snug
and my socks all have holes.
My shoes are worn out
on the sides and the soles.

My mom says it’s time
to go shopping for more.
She wants me to get
some new clothes at the store.

She begs and cajoles,
but I simply say, “No.
I want to stay home.
I would rather not go.”

While new ones may fit
in the sleeves and the toes,
the old ones I have
are my favorite clothes.

–Kenn Nesbitt

I Didn’t Go Camping

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

I Didn’t Go Camping

I didn’t go camping.
I didn’t go hiking.
I didn’t go fishing.
I didn’t go biking.

I didn’t go play
on the slides at the park.
I didn’t watch shooting stars
way after dark.

I didn’t play baseball
or soccer outside.
I didn’t go on an
amusement park ride.

I didn’t throw Frisbees.
I didn’t fly kites,
or have any travels,
or see any sights.

I didn’t watch movies
with blockbuster crowds,
or lay on the front lawn
and look at the clouds.

I didn’t go swimming
at pools or beaches,
or visit an orchard
and pick a few peaches.

I didn’t become
a guitarist or drummer,
but, boy, I played plenty
of Minecraft this summer.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Mother Said to Do My Chores

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

My Mother Said to Do My Chores

My mother said to do my chores,
to dust the shelves and mop the floors,
and wipe the walls and wind the clocks,
and scoop the kitty’s litter box,
and walk the dog and feed the fishes,
and wash and and dry the dirty dishes,
and clean my room and take a bath,
and read a book and do my math,
and pick up all my Lego blocks,
and put away my shoes and socks,
and hang my shirts and fold my pants,
and water all the potted plants,
and organize my toys and games,
and straighten up the picture frames,
and polish all the silverware,
and brush my teeth and comb my hair,
and rake the leaves and mow the lawn,
and on and on and on and on.

She said I’ll get to have some fun
as soon as all my chores are done.

With all the chores I have to do
until my mother says I’m through,
like study for an hour or two
the names of places in Peru,
and peel potatoes and stir the stew,
and fix a vase with crazy glue,
and practice tuba till I’m blue,
and scrub the tub and toilet too,
and sweep the chimney and the flueflue a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney.,
and wash the dog with pet shampoo,
and pick up piles of puppy poo…

It looks like I’ll be ninety three
before I get to watch TV.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Teacher Calls Me Sweetie Cakes

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

My teacher calls me sweetie cakes.
My classmates think it’s funny
to hear her call me angel face
or pookie bear or honey.

She calls me precious baby doll.
She calls me pumpkin pie
or doodle bug or honey bunch
or darling butterfly.

My class is so embarassing
I need to find another;
just any class at all
in which the teacher’s not my mother.

–Kenn Nesbitt

The Armpit of Doom

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

Today I walked into my big brother’s room,
and that’s when I saw it: The Armpit of Doom.
I wasn’t expecting The Armpit at all.
I shrieked and fell backward and grabbed for the wall.
The Armpit was smelly. The Armpit was hairy.
The Armpit was truly disgusting and scary.
I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to flee from it’s all-seeing eye.
My skin started crawling with goosebumps and chills.
My brain began screaming to head for the hills.
I tried to escape but I knew I could not.
In horror, I found I was glued to the spot.
“Will somebody help me!?” I started to shout,
till fumes overcame me and made me pass outpass out to become unconscious; faint..
And that’s why I’m here in this hospital room;
it’s all on account of The Armpit of Doom.
I’m still feeling shaken. I’m queasy and pale,
but lucky I lived and can tell you my tale.
So take my advice… If you ever go near
your big brothers room, bring a whole lot of gear:
A gas mask and goggles, a helmet and shield,
or maybe a space suit that’s perfectly sealed.
And then, only then, when you’re fully prepared,
step in very slowly and hope you’ll be spared.
But, if you’re afraid of the Armpit of Doom,
stay far, far away from your big brother’s room.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Mother Makes Prickly Pear Pastries

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

My mother makes prickly pear pastries.
My mother makes prickly pear pies.
She’s known for her prickly pear donuts
and flavorful prickly pear fries.

She sometimes makes prickly pear muffins
or prickly pear cookies and cakes.
She likes making prickly pear pizzas
and prickly pear smoothies and shakes.

I’ll bet she could write a whole cookbook
with all kinds of prickly pear food.
I’m sure you’d have no trouble guessing
what every last page would include.

I might even like her concoctions,
and wouldn’t just snicker and scoff,
if once in a while she’d remember
to take all the prickly parts off.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Auntie Gravity

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

My sweet old Auntie Gravity
bakes all the lightest cakes.
Her “Secret X” ingredient
is all it ever takes.

A single splash of Secret X
provides her pies a lift.
A smidgensmidgen a very small amount. more and suddenly
her doughnuts are adrift.

A pinch upon her pancakes
and they rise above the plate.
A dash will make her danishes
begin to levitate.

Her muffins start to hover
from the tiniest of specks.
Her bagels float and flutterflutter to wave, flap, or toss about.
when she uses Secret X.

But, sadly, Auntie Gravity
is known to make mistakes,
and may have used a bit too much
in several pies and cakes.

She ate a plate of chocolate cake
and tried a slice of mince.
I miss my Auntie Gravity;
we haven’t seen her since.

–Kenn Nesbitt

New Video – My Brother’s Not a Werewolf

It’s time once again for a new animated video. This one is of my poem “My Brother’s Not a Werewolf.” With fun, bouncy music by Sergei Stern and awesome animation by Stephan Krosecz, I hope you’ll enjoy watching this one over and over. If you like, you can even click on the “CC” (closed captioning) button to read along as you listen to the poem.

Electronic Christmas

Podcast

Subscribe to this Podcast

I asked for new gadgets for Christmas.
My list was a hundred lines long.
I figured I might as well try it.
Why not? I mean, what could go wrong?

My parents bought all that I wanted:
An iPod, a big-screen TV,
a camera, a laptop computer,
a Playstation, Xbox, and Wii.

I got a new Kindle, a smart phone,
an RF remote-controlled car,
a robot, a video camera,
a brand new electric guitar.

But those things were just the beginning.
This Christmas, I had such a haul,
it took me all morning, and then some,
to finish unwrapping it all.

A hundred new gadgets to play with.
I couldn’t be bothered to wait.
The moment I plugged them all in, though,
it blew every fuse in the state.

If you’re spending Christmas in darkness,
and can’t play your video game,
I’m sorry for all of the trouble;
it’s probably me who’s to blame.

I know now I shouldn’t be greedy,
so, next year, I think you’ll be fine.
Instead of a hundred new gadgets,
I’m asking for just ninety nine.

–Kenn Nesbitt