Tag: food

My Teacher Ate My Homework

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My teacher ate my homework,
which I thought was rather odd.
He sniffed at it and smiled
with an approving sort of nod.

He took a little nibble —
it’s unusual, but true —
then had a somewhat larger bite
and gave a thoughtful chew.

I think he must have liked it,
for he really went to town.
He gobbled it with gusto
and he wolfed the whole thing down.

He licked off all his fingers,
gave a burp and said, “You pass.”
I guess that’s how they grade you
when you’re in a cooking class.

–Kenn Nesbitt

The Bagel Bird

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The Bagel Bird, by all accounts,
is said to lunch on large amounts
of sticks and twigs and sand and stones
and plastic parts from broken phones.
He’ll nibble bits of copper wires
and rubber from discarded tires.
He’ll chomp on tops of cuckoo clocks
and swallow shorts and stinky socks.

He’ll chew your shoes and eat your hat.
He’ll bite your books and baseball bat.
He’ll stuff his lips with poker chips
and snack on sails from sailing ships
and gobble poles and bowling balls
and pick at bricks from fallen walls
and graze on grass and feed on weeds
and dine on twine and strings of beads.

But bagels… whether white or wheat,
or salted, savory, or sweet,
or topped with lox or luncheon meat,
are something he will never eat.
At least that’s what I’ve always heard
about the crazy Bagel Bird.
But I don’t mind because, you see,
that leaves more bagels just for me.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Mother Makes Prickly Pear Pastries

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My mother makes prickly pear pastries.
My mother makes prickly pear pies.
She’s known for her prickly pear donuts
and flavorful prickly pear fries.

She sometimes makes prickly pear muffins
or prickly pear cookies and cakes.
She likes making prickly pear pizzas
and prickly pear smoothies and shakes.

I’ll bet she could write a whole cookbook
with all kinds of prickly pear food.
I’m sure you’d have no trouble guessing
what every last page would include.

I might even like her concoctions,
and wouldn’t just snicker and scoff,
if once in a while she’d remember
to take all the prickly parts off.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Auntie Gravity

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My sweet old Auntie Gravity
bakes all the lightest cakes.
Her “Secret X” ingredient
is all it ever takes.

A single splash of Secret X
provides her pies a lift.
A smidgensmidgen a very small amount. more and suddenly
her doughnuts are adrift.

A pinch upon her pancakes
and they rise above the plate.
A dash will make her danishes
begin to levitate.

Her muffins start to hover
from the tiniest of specks.
Her bagels float and flutterflutter to wave, flap, or toss about.
when she uses Secret X.

But, sadly, Auntie Gravity
is known to make mistakes,
and may have used a bit too much
in several pies and cakes.

She ate a plate of chocolate cake
and tried a slice of mince.
I miss my Auntie Gravity;
we haven’t seen her since.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Recipe for Disaster

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A box of melted crayons.
A cup of Elmer’s glue.
A pint of watercolor paint.
Some Silly Putty too.

A half a pound of Play-Doh.
About a pint of paste.
A tablespoon of flubber
to improve the final taste.

I looked through all the cupboards
for things I could include.
If it was marked “Non-Toxic”
I just figured that meant “food.”

To guarantee it’s healthy
I topped it with a beet.
Then smashed it all together
so it should be good to eat.

I’m hoping that you’ll try it
and tell me what you think.
Just close your eyes and open wide
and nevermind the stink.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Parents Sent Me to the Store

For quite some time I’ve wanted to create animated videos of my poems. Here is the first in what I hope will be a long series of videos, “My Parents Sent Me to the Store.”

Note: If you’d like to read along with the poem, click on the “cc” button at the bottom of the video once it starts playing.