Tag: funny

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I’m staying home from school today.
I’d rather be in bed
pretending that I have a pain
that’s pounding in my head.

I’ll say I have a stomach ache.
I’ll claim I’ve got the flu.
I’ll shiver like I’m cold
and hold my breath until I’m blue.

I’ll fake a cough. I’ll fake a sneeze.
I’ll say my throat is sore.
If necessary I can throw
a tantrum on the floor.

I’m sure I’ll get away with it.
Of that, there’s little doubt.
But, even so, I really hope
my students don’t find out.

–Kenn Nesbitt

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I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer’s on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn’t looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
“I think you’ll find it’s easier
to do the work instead.”

–Kenn Nesbitt

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My teacher took my iPod.
She said they had a rule;
I couldn’t bring it into class
or even to the school.

She said she would return it;
I’d have it back that day.
But then she tried my headphones on
and gave a click on Play.

She looked a little startled,
but after just a while
she made sure we were occupied
and cracked a wicked smile.

Her body started swaying.
Her toes began to tap.
She started grooving in her seat
and rocking to the rap.

My teacher said she changed her mind.
She thinks it’s now okay
to bring my iPod into class.
She takes it every day.

–Kenn Nesbitt