Tag: school

Back-to-School Shopping

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Back-to-School Shopping

My sleeves are too short
and my jeans are too tight.
My shirt is so small
that it doesn’t fit right.

My hat is too snug
and my socks all have holes.
My shoes are worn out
on the sides and the soles.

My mom says it’s time
to go shopping for more.
She wants me to get
some new clothes at the store.

She begs and cajoles,
but I simply say, “No.
I want to stay home.
I would rather not go.”

While new ones may fit
in the sleeves and the toes,
the old ones I have
are my favorite clothes.

–Kenn Nesbitt

I Didn’t Go Camping

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I Didn’t Go Camping

I didn’t go camping.
I didn’t go hiking.
I didn’t go fishing.
I didn’t go biking.

I didn’t go play
on the slides at the park.
I didn’t watch shooting stars
way after dark.

I didn’t play baseball
or soccer outside.
I didn’t go on an
amusement park ride.

I didn’t throw Frisbees.
I didn’t fly kites,
or have any travels,
or see any sights.

I didn’t watch movies
with blockbuster crowds,
or lay on the front lawn
and look at the clouds.

I didn’t go swimming
at pools or beaches,
or visit an orchard
and pick a few peaches.

I didn’t become
a guitarist or drummer,
but, boy, I played plenty
of Minecraft this summer.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Mother Said to Do My Chores

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My Mother Said to Do My Chores

My mother said to do my chores,
to dust the shelves and mop the floors,
and wipe the walls and wind the clocks,
and scoop the kitty’s litter box,
and walk the dog and feed the fishes,
and wash and and dry the dirty dishes,
and clean my room and take a bath,
and read a book and do my math,
and pick up all my Lego blocks,
and put away my shoes and socks,
and hang my shirts and fold my pants,
and water all the potted plants,
and organize my toys and games,
and straighten up the picture frames,
and polish all the silverware,
and brush my teeth and comb my hair,
and rake the leaves and mow the lawn,
and on and on and on and on.

She said I’ll get to have some fun
as soon as all my chores are done.

With all the chores I have to do
until my mother says I’m through,
like study for an hour or two
the names of places in Peru,
and peel potatoes and stir the stew,
and fix a vase with crazy glue,
and practice tuba till I’m blue,
and scrub the tub and toilet too,
and sweep the chimney and the flueflue a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney.,
and wash the dog with pet shampoo,
and pick up piles of puppy poo…

It looks like I’ll be ninety three
before I get to watch TV.

–Kenn Nesbitt

The Teachers Jumped Out of the Windows

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The Teachers Jumped Out of the Windows

The teachers jumped out of the windows.
The principal ran for the door.
The nurse and librarian bolted.
They’re not coming back anymore.

The counselor, hollering madly,
escaped out the door of the gym.
The coach and custodian shouted
and ran out the door after him.

The lunch ladies threw up their ladles,
then fled from the kitchen in hastehaste moving or acting quickly; speedy; hurried.,
while all of the students looked puzzled
as staff members scurried and raced.

We’d never seen anything like it.
But, still, it was pretty darned cool
to see all the staff so excited
to leave on the last day of school.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Copyright © 2007 Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.
From the book Revenge of the Lunch Ladies.

Revenge of the Lunch Ladies

Welcome Back to School

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“Dear students, the summer has ended.
The school year at last has begun.
But this year is totally different.
I promise we’ll only have fun.

“We won’t study any mathematics,
and recess will last all day long.
Instead of the pledge of allegiance,
we’ll belt out a rock-and-roll song.

“We’ll only play games in the classroom.
You’re welcome to bring in your toys.
It’s okay to run in the hallways.
It’s great if you make lots of noise.

“For homework, you’ll play your Nintendo.
You’ll have to watch lots of T.V.
For field trips we’ll go to the movies
and get lots of candy for free.

“The lunchroom will only serve chocolate
and triple fudge sundaes supreme.”
Yes, that’s what I heard from my teacher
before I woke up from my dream.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Teacher Ate My Homework

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My teacher ate my homework,
which I thought was rather odd.
He sniffed at it and smiled
with an approving sort of nod.

He took a little nibble —
it’s unusual, but true —
then had a somewhat larger bite
and gave a thoughtful chew.

I think he must have liked it,
for he really went to town.
He gobbled it with gusto
and he wolfed the whole thing down.

He licked off all his fingers,
gave a burp and said, “You pass.”
I guess that’s how they grade you
when you’re in a cooking class.

–Kenn Nesbitt

April Fool’s Day

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Mackenzie put a whoopie cushionwhoopie cushion a type of cushion or pillow used as a practical joke that, when sat upon, produces a loud noise resembling flatulence.
on the teacher’s chair.
Makayla told the teacher
that a bug was in her hair.

Alyssa brought an apple
with a purple gummy worm
and gave it to the teacher
just to see if she would squirm.

Elijah left a piece of plastic
dog doo on the floor,
and Vincent put some plastic vomit
in the teacher’s drawer.

Amanda put a goldfish
in the teacher’s drinking glass.
These April Fool’s Day pranks
are ones that you could use in class.

Before you go and try them, though,
there’s something I should mention:
The teacher wasn’t fooling
when she put us in detention.

–Kenn Nesbitt

I’m Staying Home From School Today

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I’m staying home from school today.
I’d rather be in bed
pretending that I have a pain
that’s pounding in my head.

I’ll say I have a stomach ache.
I’ll claim I’ve got the flu.
I’ll shiver like I’m cold
and hold my breath until I’m blue.

I’ll fake a cough. I’ll fake a sneeze.
I’ll say my throat is sore.
If necessary I can throw
a tantrum on the floor.

I’m sure I’ll get away with it.
Of that, there’s little doubt.
But, even so, I really hope
my students don’t find out.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Basketball’s My Favorite Sport

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Basketball’s my favorite sport.
I dribble up and down the court.
The ball goes bouncing off my toes
and beans the teacher on the nose.

He stumblesstumble to strike the foot against something, as in walking or running, so as to stagger or fall; trip. back and grabs his nose
and hits the wall and down he goes.
The other players stop and stare.
They’ve never heard the teacher swear.

With no one playing anymore.
I grab the ball. I shoot. I score.
I love this game! It’s so much fun.
The teacher cried, but, hey–we won.

–Kenn Nesbitt

My Teacher Calls Me Sweetie Cakes

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My teacher calls me sweetie cakes.
My classmates think it’s funny
to hear her call me angel face
or pookie bear or honey.

She calls me precious baby doll.
She calls me pumpkin pie
or doodle bug or honey bunch
or darling butterfly.

My class is so embarassing
I need to find another;
just any class at all
in which the teacher’s not my mother.

–Kenn Nesbitt