After Thanksgiving
It’s after Thanksgiving.
I’m full as can be.
I haven’t got room left
for even a pea.
I probably gobbled
too much at our feast.
I’m straining in pain and
my waistline’s increased.
I’m utterly glutted.
My stomach is stuffed.
My belly is bulging.
My tummy is puffed.
I’m totally bloated.
I’m huffing and puffing.
I guess it’s not smart to eat
nothing but stuffing.
Santa’s Feeling Sick
Daddy called the doctor,
and told him, “Please come quick.
Santa’s in the living room
and feeling somewhat sick.”
Santa’s slightly out of sorts.
He’s looking rather ill,
showing certain symptoms
like a fever and a chill.”
Sad to say, he’s shivering
as if he has the flu.
Please come look. I’m sure you’ll know
exactly what to do.”
Twenty minutes later,
when the doctor bustled in,
Santa got examined
from his elbow to his chin.
“Santa,” said the doctor,
“It’s as clear as it can be…
You’ve got tinselitis;
you’re allergic to their tree.”
Opposite Day
It’s Opposite Day!
It’s Opposite Day!
The day to do things
in the opposite way.
I wear my pants backward.
My shirt’s inside out.
I scream to talk softly.
I whisper to shout.
I write with my foot and
I kick with my hand.
I stare with my eyes closed.
I sit down to stand.
I drink from a plate and
I eat from a cup.
I climb into bed when
it’s time to wake up.
I frown when I’m happy.
I smile when I’m sad.
I say, “I like liver,
but ice cream is bad.”
I claim that it’s dark
when it’s sunny and bright.
If something is black,
I insist that it’s white.
I stand still for dancing.
When running, I crawl.
So please understand:
I don’t like you at all.
Hello, My Name is Madison
Hello, my name is Madison.
I live on Lincoln Street.
I’m in the state of Washington.
I think that’s pretty neat.
My middle name is Kennedy.
My last name is Monroe.
My name has got more Presidents
than anyone I know.
My father’s name is Harrison.
My brother’s name is Grant.
My mother’s name is Reagan,
and Taylor is my aunt.
I go to Eisenhower School.
My family drives a Ford.
That’s way too many Presidents
to ever be ignored.
It can’t just be coincidence.
It’s not some chance event.
When I grow up, it’s obvious…
I’ll be the President!
Candy Love
Chocolate assortments
and little pink hearts.
Hershey’s Kiss Roses
and sour SweeTarts.
All of these candies
arrived with some cards,
sending me mushy
romantic regards.
Valentine’s Day,
what a troublesome date.
Don’t like the cards,
but the candy is great!
Santa’s Suit
If Santa’s suit gets dirty,
no matter what might cause it,
he’s got a clean one handy.
It’s in his Santa closet.
Dear Santa, Did You Get My Tweet?
Dear Santa, did you get my tweet
of presents I would think are sweet?
And what about my Facebook post
of toys and stuff I want the most?
Dear Santa, did you read my blog?
That’s where I keep a running log
of all the times that I’ve been good
and doing things I know I should.
I hope you saw my Instagram,
my email wasn’t flagged as spam,
you’ve seen my YouTube channel too
and all my texts have made it through.
Wait, does the North Pole even get
computers and the Internet?
I hope it does. I mean, it better,
or I might have to write a letter.
Santa Brought a Bar of Soap
Santa brought a bar of soap.
I asked him for a phone, but nope.
I didn’t get that brand new phone.
Just soap, and fancy French cologne.
He also brought some new shampoo,
some shower gel, and toothpaste too,
a scented candle for my room,
a dozen bottles of perfume,
deodorant and body spray…
I wonder what he’s trying to say?
Coal in My Stocking
Coal in the stocking
that’s hung up for me.
Coal in my packages
under the tree.
Coal for my sister
and coal for my brother.
Coal for the baby,
and father and mother.
Santa, it seems, traveled
down from The Pole,
bringing us nothing
but presents of coal.
No one’s been naughty.
We haven’t been whiners.
Santa’s new elves just
all used to be miners.
November Is upon Us
November is upon us.
Thanksgiving’s nearly here.
I’ve never been more thankful than
the way I feel this year.
I’m thankful we have apple pie.
I’m thankful we have beans.
I’m thankful we have mashed potatoes,
yams, and salad greens.
But, most of all, I’m thankful that
my future isn’t murky.
My family’s vegetarian
and I am their pet turkey.
