Topic: Song

Oh My Darling, Valentine

In a toystore
on a Sunday
with a dollar forty nine
I need something
just a dumb thing
for my brand new
Valentine.

Oh my darling.
Oh my darling.
Oh my darling
Valentine.
I’m uneasy,
kind of queasy,
but you’re still my
Valentine.

Yes, it happened
in the classroom
when you said
“Will you be mine?”
I was muddled
and befuddled,
so I answered,
“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Then you called me
in the lunchroom.
You had saved a
place in line.
And I knew that
it was true that
I was now your
Valentine.

I went shopping
for a present
and I saw this
blinking sign:
“Here’s a pleasant
little present
for a brand new
Valentine.”

So I bought it
and I brought it
in my backpack
right at nine.
Do you like it?
It’s a spy kit
with a flashlight
you can shine.

I could tell you
didn’t like it
when you said I
was a swine.
How exciting!
I’m delighting.
I have no more
Valentine.

Till another
person stopped me
and they asked
“Will you be mine?”
This is crushing.
Oh, I’m blushing.
I’ve another
Valentine.

Revenge of the Lunch Ladies

I went to the lunchroom, and there,
last week on a double dare,
I said the meat was too gross to eat
and smelled like my underwear.
I shouldn’t have been rude
by making such fun of the food,
for though they were riled,
the lunch ladies smiled,
and said I had started a feud.

Today when I went there to eat,
they served up some monkey meat.
I ran out quick when I nearly got sick,
but then I went back to my seat.
The lunchroom ladies sighed
to see that I practically cried,
then served up a hunk of
barbecued skunk,
and that was the reason I died.
I died! I died! I died!

PC, PC

PC, PC,
give me at least a clue.
I’m so sleepy
but I’ve got this homework due.
I must turn it in tomorrow,
or face a world of sorrow.
So, please, tonight
just help me write,
so my homework’s not overdue.

Sleepy, sleepy.
Can’t seem to stay awake.
All this homework
gives me a bellyache.
I’ll just close my eyes a minute.
I see no problem in it.
I open them.
It’s 8 a.m.
Uh oh, that was a big mistake.

Teacher, teacher,
give me just one more day.
My computer
caused me this long delay.
I won’t need another warning.
You’ll have it in the morning,
unless tonight,
instead of write,
my computer just wants to play.

He Flies Down the Hall

Oh, he flies down the hall
with the greatest of ease;
the boy with the helmet
and pads on his knees.
The teachers give chase
as he panics and flees,
and his skateboard is taken away.

So, he zips through the hall
on his scooter so fast.
His classmates all giggle
to see him sail past.
For thirty eight seconds
he’s having a blast,
then his scooter is taken away.

So, he runs in the hall
with a whoop and a shout.
The kids can’t believe
all the rules that he’ll flout.
The Principal nabs him.
It’s “three strikes, you’re out!”
Now he sits in detention today.

I’ve Been Working on My Homework

I’ve been working on my homework
all the live long day.
I’ve been working on my homework
even though it’s Saturday.
I can hardly keep from snoring.
Why’s homework have to be so boring?
I can hear my mother shouting…
Is your homework done?

Did you work all night?
Are your answers right?
Did you double-check your spelling too?
Will you pass the test?
You can have a rest
When your homework’s done.

Someone sells a chicken in China.
Someone buys the chicken in Ohio, oh.
How much is the chicken from China?
What’s the answer? I don’t know.

I’m screaming, three times seventy-five, oh.
Three times seventy-five, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Three times seventy-five, oh.
What’s the answer? I don’t know.

Teacher, Teacher, How’s My Singing

Oh, I had to write a poem, ’cause my teacher said I should,
but the poems that I tried to write weren’t coming out so good,
and I figured everything I wrote would be misunderstood.
Instead I wrote this song.

CHORUS
Teacher, teacher, how’s my singing?
Is is fine or is it stinging?
Have your eardrums started ringing?
I hope you like my song.

Yes, I had to write a poem, but I couldn’t get it right,
though I sharpened all my pencils and I stayed up half the night,
so I grabbed my dictionary and I chucked it out of sight,
and then I wrote this song.

CHORUS

My Bunny Lies over My Doggy

My Bunny Lies Over My Doggy

My pets were out practicing football.
My frog intercepted a pass.
My cat and my dog and my bunny
then tackled him flat on the grass.

My bunny lies over my doggy.
My doggie’s on top of my cat.
My kitty is over my froggy,
and that’s why my froggy is flat.

CHORUS
Green splat. Green splat.
Oh, that’s why my froggy is flat, like that.
Green splat. Green splat.
Oh, that’s why my froggy is flat.

My froggy’s as flat as a pancake.
A paper-thin froggy’s the worst.
He cannot eat flies now for dinner
except when I flatten them first.

CHORUS

If you see your pets playing football,
it’s best if you bring them inside
or you may end up with a froggy
who’s flattened and seven feet wide.

CHORUS

Oh My Darling, Frankenstein

Oh my darling,
Oh my darling,
Oh my darling,
Frankenstein.
I abhor you
and adore you.
You’re my darling,
Frankenstein.

Your creator
was a doctor
in a castle
near the Rhine.
On a slab
inside his lab
you were constructed
Frankenstein.

Arms and legs and
head and torso
that the doctor
did combine.
Bolts of lightning,
very frightening,
gave you life dear
Frankenstein.

Then you rose up
from the table
with a bellow
and a whine.
You went lurching,
simply searching
for some dinner,
Frankenstein.

When the townsfolk
saw you coming
you sent shivers
down their spines.
So they chased you
with their pitchforks
and their torches
Frankenstein.

Then you lumbered
to the forest
where you hid
amongst the pine.
While the doc, he
did concoct me,
yes a bride
for Frankenstein.

We were married
in the castle,
and forever
you’ll be mine.
We’re a creature
double-feature,
oh my darling,
Frankenstein.