Topic: Sports

My Cat Knows Karate

My cat knows karate.
My frog knows kung fu.
My poodle knows judo.
My turtle does too.

They all became black belts
by watching TV;
some Chuck Norris movies,
and films with Bruce Lee.

They liked learning lessons
from Jean-Claude Van Damme,
and acting like action-film star
Jackie Chan.

They practiced their punches,
their blocks, and their kicks
until they were masters
of martial arts tricks.

You’d think they’d be good now
at guarding our house,
but, yesterday morning,
they ran from my mouse.

My mouse is a crack-up.
I laughed at his prank.
Do you think it’s weird that
my mouse drives a tank?

There was a girl named Wendy Wise,
who didn’t like to exercise.
She wouldn’t ever lift a weight,
or skip a rope, or roller skate.
You’d never see her ride a bike,
or bounce a ball, or take a hike.
She wouldn’t run, or trot, or jog,
or go outside and walk the dog.
She wouldn’t skip or climb a hill,
or practice any kind of skill
like jumping rope or playing ball.
She wouldn’t exercise at all.

It’s no surprise that Wendy Wise,
who didn’t like to exercise,
would pass away one fateful day,
and in a rather tragic way.
You see, that day, up in the sky,
a tiny bird was flying by.
It lost a feather, small and brown,
that slowly, slowly, drifted down,
and landed right on Wendy’s head.
It knocked her down and killed her dead.
She was, it seems, so frail and weak,
with such a sickly, sad physique
that, when that feather touched her hair,
it did her in, right then and there.

Poor Wendy! What an awful shame.
If only she had played a game,
or went outside to run around,
or practiced jumping up and down,
or had a swim, or took a dive,
today she might still be alive.

Regrettably, it’s now too late,
and Wendy Wise has met her fate.
But I, my friend, would much prefer
that you do not end up like her.
So please go out and play a game,
because, you see, despite her name,
to never, ever exercise
like Wendy, isn’t very wise.

I Can’t Get Enough of this Pokémon Go

I can’t get enough of this Pokémon Go.
The fever is on me
and starting to grow.
This game is amazing!
I thought you should know.
There’s nothing I want to do more.

I play on the playground.
I play in the park.
I play in the daytime.
I play after dark.
I’m constantly playing,
but I should remark
this game sure is making me sore.

While playing today
I ran into a wall.
I stumbled and fell down
the stairs at the mall.
I tripped on the street and
had such a bad fall,
I probably fractured my toe.

My forehead is hurting.
My bottom feels bad.
This tripping and falling
is making me mad.
The game is amazing,
but maybe I’ve had
enough of this Pokémon Go.

Olympic Granny

When Grandma goes for gold in
The Olympic games this year,
She’ll laugh at her competitors
And make them quake with fear.

She’s ninety-nine years old
But, in athletics, she’s been blessed.
The trouble is she can’t decide
Which sport she plays the best.

She’s such an ace at archery.
She’s queen of the canoe.
She’s tough to top at taekwondo
And table tennis too.

She dominates the diving board.
She tromps the trampoline.
At lifting weights and wrestling
She’s the best you’ve ever seen.

She speeds across the swimming pool
To slake the summer heat.
On BMX and mountain bike
She simply can’t be beat.

She’s highest in the high jump,
And a champ at hammer throwing,
Magnificent in marathons,
Remarkable at rowing.

She beats the best at boxing.
At the pole vault she is peerless.
Her fencing is the finest;
She is positively fearless.

She’s masterful at basketball,
She truly rules the court,
And equally incredible
At every other sport.

But what we find astonishing
And something of a shocker
Is how she wins all contests
With her wheelchair and her walker.

Minecraft Mike

Hello, my friends. My name is Mike.
I never hike or ride a bike.
You see, the only thing I like
is playing lots of Minecraft.

I never run, or climb a tree,
or sail a ship across the sea.
Why, I don’t even watch TV.
I just play lots of Minecraft.

I don’t play sports of any sorts,
on basketball or tennis courts,
in training shoes and running shorts.
I’m only good at Minecraft.

You’ll never see me pet the cat,
or shop online to buy a hat,
or instant message, text, or chat.
I’m busy playing Minecraft.

In fact, I’m busy as can be,
so if you’d like to talk to me,
there’s just one way, and that, you see,
is multiplayer Minecraft.

I Tried to Ride a Skateboard

I tried to ride a skateboard.
I fell and scraped my knee.
I tried to ride a bicycle.
I crashed into a tree.

I tried to ride a scooter.
I landed on my chin.
I tried to ride a unicycle;
lost a bit of skin.

I even tried a tricycle
but ran into a wall.
I’m happy in this wheelchair now.
I never fall at all.

Billy

A fellow known as Billy,
was living on a hill. He
had something of a skill. He
would ski to get a thrill. He
went skiing one day till he
had something of a spill. He
went plummeting downhill. He
was screaming sort of shrilly,
and tumbling until he
at last was lying still. He
was looking rather ill. He
was green around the gill. He
was also rather chilly,
but couldn’t get his fill. He
went right back up the hill. He
is skiing up there still. He
may seem a little silly,
but that’s what happened.
Really.

I Went to the Gym

I went the the gym.
I lifted a weight.
My muscles got bigger.
It felt really great.
I hoisted another,
a heavier one.
I got even stronger.
I thought it was fun.
I wandered outside where
I bent a steel bar.
I pulled up a park bench
and carried a car.
I picked up a truck
and then set out to try
to boost a big building
I spotted nearby.
So now I’m in jail, with
my muscles to thank.
I probably shouldn’t have
held up that bank.

This Winter I Went Sledding

This winter I went sledding.
I crashed into a tree.
I ran into another one
while learning how to ski.

I slipped upon the sidewalk;
I didn’t see the ice.
A snowball hit me in the face.
(My sister’s not too nice.)

My snowman toppled over.
It landed on my head.
My tongue got frozen to a pole.
I pulled it off. It bled.

I froze my toes and fingers.
They hurt so much I cried.
So, yes, the snow is pretty,
but I think I’ll stay inside.

Dear Summer

Dear Summer, you’re always my favorite.
I really do like you a lot.
You come every year,
and I’m glad when you’re here.
I don’t even mind that you’re hot.

Dear Summer, whenever you visit,
I love to go outside to play.
I get to wear shorts
and play summertime sports,
or sometimes do nothing all day.

I put on my goggles and swim suit,
and head for the beach or the park.
I go for a hike
or I ride on my bike,
and stay awake long after dark.

Dear Summer, I’m glad you could join us.
without you, it won’t be the same.
I promise I know
that you do have to go,
but, still, it seems sort of a shame.

I’m sure that I’m going to miss you.
The school year is finally here.
I had so much fun
playing out in the sun.
I guess that I’ll see you next year.