Topic: Wordplay

And Backed My Car into a Tree

and backed my car into a tree.
I wrote this poem back to front
or else you may end up like me.
So do not try this silly stunt,

I’m stunned and don’t know what to say.
Now things could not be any worse.
while driving in my car today.
I wrote this poem in reverse

Five Sense Nonsense

I saw a saw.
I felt some felt.
I heard a herd.
I smelt a smelt.
I ate at eight.
So tell me, do,
does this make any
sense to you?

Anna Graham

Silly, mixed-up Anna Graham
often mixes up her words.
She says calm instead of clam.
Shred will sometimes come out herds.

Notes are stone and news is sewn.
Bakers, breaks, and aches are chase.
Iron beat is baritone.
Route capes just means outer space.

Geraldine is realigned.
Mites are times, and limes are smile.
Denim often comes out mined.
Relatives are versatile.

Steak is skate and tale is late.
Name is mispronounced as mean.
Breathe in turns to hibernate.
Bargained sounds like gabardine.

Pore is rope and poles are slope.
Mash is sham and balm is lamb.
Poem always make her mope;
silly, mixed-up Anna Graham.

Don’t Rat on a Mouse

Don’t badger a groundhog.
Don’t swallow a grouse.
Don’t bulldog a poodle.
Don’t rat on a mouse.

Don’t parrot a peacock.
Don’t buffalo moose.
Don’t hawk a flamingo
Don’t duck from a goose.

Don’t ferret out weasels.
Don’t crab at a shark.
Don’t hound a chihuahua.
Don’t crow at a lark.

Don’t ram an alpaca.
Don’t leech off a worm.
Don’t bat at a squirrel
and don’t bug a germ.

Don’t slug a sea snail.
Don’t tick off a louse.
Don’t ape a gorilla.
Don’t rat on a mouse.

Just take some advice
and remember this clue:
if you leave them alone
they won’t monkey with you!

I’ve Seen My Kitchen Sink

I’ve seen my kitchen sink.
I saw my garden rose.
I’m not sure why my eye drops
but I think my nostril knows.

I’ve had a root beer float.
I’ve watched a lemon drop.
I’ve listened to a ginger snap
and heard a soda pop.

I’ve seen a hot dog stand.
I saw a salad bowl.
I’ve even seen a pretzel twist
and watched a dinner roll.

I’ve seen a great home run.
I saw a big house fly.
I’ve even seen a barefoot race
and watched a bolo tie.

I’ve seen a long ski jump.
I’ve heard a loud bell hop.
I saw a birthday party
and I watched an antique shop.

I’ve seen a belly dance.
I’ve seen a quick fox trot.
I think that’s what my chain saw
but I’m sure my rope did knot.

You Can Never Be Too Careful

you-can-never-be-too-careful

You can never be too careful,
that’s what I always say,
and so I wear a hat, or two,
in case my hair turns gray.
I’ve thirteen tires on my car,
in case I get a flat.
I wear my pants size fifty-three,
in case I grow too fat.

You can never be too careful,
I’m sure you’ll find it’s true.
I see the doctor every day,
in case I catch the flu.
I carry twenty handkerchiefs,
in case I have to sneeze,
and forty seven bandages,
in case I skin my knees.

You can never be too careful,
so if I take a walk,
I tiptoe everywhere I go
and whisper when I talk.
I hide my money in a box,
and lock it up inside Fort Knox.
My house is made of bricks and rocks.
The front door has a hundred locks.

But now I have a problem, see,
I’m locked inside without the key.
I’ve lost it and I can’t get free.
I hid it much too carefully!

Things You Don’t Need to Know

Don’t test a rattlesnake’s rattle.
Don’t count the teeth of a shark.
Don’t stick your head in the mouth of a bulldog
to find out what’s making him bark.

Don’t count the stripes on a tiger.
Don’t squeeze an elephant’s trunk.
Don’t pet the scales of a boa constrictor
and don’t lift the tail of a skunk.

Don’t study spots on a leopard.
Don’t check the charge of an eel.
Don’t pull the claws on a grizzly bear’s paws
regardless of how brave you feel.

Don’t pull a porcupine’s whiskers.
Don’t touch a crocodile’s toe.
Learn all you like, but try not to forget:
there are some things you don’t need to know.

I’b God a Code

“I’b sick,” I pout ad blow my doze.
“I’b misseeg all by favorite shows.
I hab to stay id bed, you see.
My mob wode led me watch T.B.
She breegs me chicked soup ad says
that I should try to get sub resd.
Bud I’b too bored ad icky feeleeg
tired of stareeg ad the ceileeg,
achy, cougheeg, stuffed up too.
Bud thaks for askeeg. How are you?”

I Left Our Rhino in the Rain

I left our rhino in the rain;
all night he’s been outside.
The rain has soaked him to the bone,
right through his rhino hide.

He’s my responsibility.
My folks said, “Don’t forget…”
But somehow I neglected him,
and now he’s soaking wet.

And both my folks are all upset
and feel I can’t be trusted.
I left our rhino in the rain,
and he rhinocerusted.

How Not to Play With Your Food

Don’t play baseball with your Brussels sprouts
or tennis with tomatoes.
Don’t play soccer with your succotash
or ping-pong with potatoes.

Don’t play hockey with your hot dogs.
Don’t go bowling with your beans.
Don’t play racquetball with rump roast.
Don’t play tag with tangerines.

When you’re sitting at the table
just enjoy your mother’s cooking,
and refrain from playing with your food,
except when no one’s looking.