Topic: Wordplay

Zzzzz

I see zebras from Zimbabwe
zipping all around the zoo.
I see Zeus up in the zodiac,
a zillion zithers too.

There are zephyrs blowing zeppelins
that are zooming near and far.
There are zealots counting zeroes
in a zone near Zanzibar.

There are Zulus wearing zoot suits
eating zwieback and zucchini
plus a zombie with a zipper
on his zinnia bikini.

Yes, I always have the zaniest
most zonked-out dreams like these,
because every time I go to sleep
I try to catch some Z’s.

Mithing Tooth

mithing-tooth

I’m having trouble thpeaking,
thinthe I lotht my middle tooth.
Jutht yethterday my tooth wath fine —
today it wiggled loothe.

At firtht I thought it thilly,
when my tooth fell out today,
But no one theems to underthtand
a thingle word I thay.

I athked my mom to clothe the door,
she thaid “That would be rude.
The door does not like wearing clothes;
it’s happy in the nude.”

I thaid a mouthe wath in my room
and she should come and thee.
She thaid “your mouth is on your face;
it’s right where it should be.”

I wonder if you underthtand
the thircumthtanthe I’m in.
I told her I wath feeling thick.
She thaid “you’re looking thin.”

At latht she thaw how mad I wath,
And thought I might thtop breathing.
She laughed and thaid she didn’t mean it —
She wath only teething.

Kangaroos

If a person has four babies
you would call them all quadruplets.
If a kangaroo does likewise
should you call them kangaruplets?

And there’s something else I wonder,
that could use illuminating,
When a kangaroo is thinking
is it kangaruminating?

If you baked a kangaroo a pie
and shaped it like a boomerang
would it be best with whipping cream
or maybe kangaroo meringue?

I’ve got so many questions,
I just don’t know what to do.
I guess perhaps I’ll have to go
and ask a kangaroo.

My Foot Fell Asleep

My foot fell asleep
right inside of my shoe
from sitting around
having nothing to do.
It hadn’t drank warm milk
nor tried to count sheep;
it just wasn’t busy,
and fell right asleep.

You see, in my shoe
it gets lonely and boring,
which made my foot sleepy,
and soon it was snoring.
My foot snored so loudly
my shoe began flapping.
But it didn’t notice —
it kept right on napping!

It slept through the morning
and most of the day,
despite that my other foot
wanted to play.
It took a siesta.
It slumbered inert.
It nodded through dinner.
It dozed through dessert.

Now I’m in my bed
and I’ve been up all night.
I’m trying to sleep,
although try as I might,
my foot slept all day
(what a foolish mistake!)
now I can’t fall asleep
’cause my foot’s wide awake!

I Often Contradict Myself

i-often-contradict-myself

I often contradict myself.
Oh no, I never do.
I argue with me day and night.
That simply isnt true.

Oh yes it is. Oh no it’s not.
I do this all day long.
Oh no I don’t. Oh yes I do.
That’s right. No way! It’s wrong.

I’m really quite agreeable.
I argue night and day.
I love to be around myself.
I wish I’d go away.

So if you see me arguing,
it’s certain that you won’t.
I like to contradict myself.
I promise you I don’t.