Table Manners

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From the book Goops and How to Be Them

Table Manners poem by Gelett Burgess

Table Manners—I
The Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their brothbroth 1. thin soup of concentrated meat or fish stock. 2. water that has been boiled with meat, fish, vegetables, or barley. on the tablecloth—
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I’m glad that I
Am not a Goop—are you?

Table Manners—II
The Goops are gluttonous and rude,
They gug and gumble with their food;
They throw their crumbs upon the floor,
And at dessert they tease for more;
They will not eat their soup and bread
But like to gobble sweets, instead,
And this is why I oft decline,
When I am asked to stay and dine!

 — Gelett Burgess


From the Book Goops and How to Be Them