Have you ever heard the story of the weasel and the whale?
Well, I’ll tell you, as it truly is an entertaining tale.
Let me introduce you, firstly, to the weasel, who, we note,
had a lifelong dream to waterski, but didn’t own a boat.
No, he didn’t have a speedboat or a rowboat or a raft.
Not a kayak or container ship or any kind of craft.
Not a steamship or a sailboat or a dinghy or a yacht.
Well, I think I’ve made my point, so I’ll continue with the plot.
He was walking down the beach one morning, sad to be on land,
when he came upon a whining whale that whimpered on the sand.
She was glad to see the weasel and she blubbered, “Help. I’m stuck.”
Then the weasel, in his kindness, answered, “Let me get my truck.”
So the weasel hustled home and got his Chevy 4X4,
and he backed it from the driveway and he drove it to the shore
where he gave the whale a gentle nudge and pushed her in the sea.
“Thank you!, thank you!” cried the whale, for she was happy to be free.
Then she told him, “Mr. Weasel, that was generous of you.
To repay you for your kindness, is there something I can do?”
It was then the weasel realized that maybe this could be
the solution to the problem of his dream to waterski.
So he told the whale his troubles, and explained about his dream,
and described how she could help him; how the two could be a team.
She was awfully glad to help him, and she instantly agreed,
so he got a pair of skis (because it’s all he thought he’d need).
Then he brought them to the shoreline where he walked up to the whale,
and he stuck them on his feet and quickly grabbed her massive tail.
When the weasel hollared, “Go!” she gave it everything she’d got,
and she flipped her mighty tail and promptly took off like a shot.
But the weasel, sad to say, went flying wildly through the air.
and it may be that he landed, but I couldn’t tell you where.
Though it’s rumored that he made it, his demise is widely feared,
and the only thing that’s certain is he never reappeared.
And he may be skiing somewhere, or it could be that he’s dead;
just that no one knows for certain is the best that can be said.
So the moral of the story of the weasel and the whale
is don’t ever, ever, ever touch a whale upon her tail.