Topic: Animal

Examine any Fire Hydrant


Examine any fire hydrant.
This is what you’ll see:
Inside it’s full of H2O.
Outside it’s K9P.

On Dinosaur Island

“Just boring old bones,” thought young Michael McLiam,
“I can’t figure out who would want to come see ’em…”

“…And here,” said Miss Jones, “if you’ll step right this way,”
And she pointed to some rather dusty display,
“We are showing a dinkysaur fossil today.
This dinkysaur skeleton’s almost complete
Except for a couple of bones in his feet
And the parts where his legs and his anklebones meet…”

Michael McLiam then let out a yawn
And he thought, “Of the places our classroom has gone
Why THIS is the boring-est trip we’ve been on.

“They haven’t got anything fun or exciting
Like raptors in cages or carnosaurs fighting.
They haven’t got mammoths or saber-toothed cats
Or cavemen with bear skins and primitive bats.
No, nothing exciting at all on display
In the Natural History Museum today.
They just have the curator, boring Miss Jones,
And a dusty display of old dinosaur bones.”

And then Michael said, “Why, I know what I’ll do…
I’ll go out and start my own dinosaur ZOO!

“I’ll find me an island my zoo can call home
With plenty of space for some dinos to roam,
And then, one by one, or perhaps two by two,
I’ll find a few dinos to put in my zoo.
I’ll bring them back home to my island and free ’em
And call it ‘The Dinosaur Island Museum.’

“I’ll get an assistant named Wilbur or Horrace
To help me to capture a brachiosaurus.
This dino’s so big and his neck is so long,
His legs are so thick and his muscles so strong
You have to be sure you don’t look at him wrong.
To calm him, we’ll sing him a lullaby song.
The brachiosaurus’s brain is so small
I’m sure he’ll be sleeping in no time at all.

“We’ll tie him up tightly and set him to float
On the deck of our dinosaur capturing boat.
Just think what the people will say when they see him
At home in The Dinosaur Island Museum.
They’ll say, ‘Why, I’ve never seen anything like it…
A dino so big you could climb up and hike it.
A dino so big you could practically ski him,
All thanks to the hard work of Michael McLiam.’

“But I won’t stop there. No, I’ll have to have more
From places where no one has traveled before.
In swamplands and jungles I’ll go and explore
And bring back a helmeted corythosaur
Who uses the duck-bill he has for a snout
To dig in the muck and to pull the leaves out.
And people will say, ‘Why, it’s hard to believe!
What else do you think Michael has up his sleeve?’

“I’ll go to the farthest of far-away places
And bring back some creatures with very strange faces.
Like a stygimoloch, with a head like a dome;
I’ll capture a dozen and bring them back home.

“I’ll travel the world with occasional stops
To pick up some beast like a triceratops.

A stegosaur too, with those spines on his back
And the long, spiky tail, like a whip he can crack.
You have to be careful he doesn’t attack
So I’ll bring him back home in my stegosaur sack.

“Iguanodons too! Why I’ll catch them in scores!
And maybe a few dozen apatosaurs.

“A few that have armor and clubs on their tails.
And maybe a few that are bigger than whales.
I’ll bring back some dinos that travel in herds,
and some that look something like featherless birds.

“I’ll bring back so many and set them all free
That folks from all over will have to come see.

“They’ll travel from Fairbanks and Juno, Alaska,
From Omaha, Kearney, and Lincoln, Nebraska.
From China, Afghanistan, India too,
From Egypt, New Zealand, Tibet and Peru,
They’ll travel by airplane, by ship and canoe,
By sub and by sailboat to visit my zoo.

“And won’t they be stunned! They won’t know what to say
When they see all the dinos I have on display.
They’ll bring all their friends and their relatives too,
To show them the world’s only dinosaur zoo.

“But that’s not enough. No, not hardly enough!
I’ll have to get some that are terribly tough.

“I’ll head to the desert on one of my treks
And capture the biggest and meanest T. Rex.

“I’ll even come back with a cageful of raptors
To show I’m the bravest of dinosaur captors.
These beasts are so fierce that most people would flee ’em,
But raptors are no match for Michael McLiam.

“When folks see those raptors locked up in their cage
My dinosaur zoo will become all the rage
With people all over, no matter what age.
Old people, young people, teenagers too
Will want to come visit this wonderful zoo.

“And just when they think that I couldn’t get more
I’ll find some that swim and some winged ones that soar
Like an icthyosaur and a dimorphodon.
Then people will say ‘Oh, the places he’s gone!
Just look at the marvelous creatures he’s caught!
We’d gladly pay TWICE for the tickets we bought.
Why this Dinosaur Island’s the world’s greatest zoo!
Is there NOTHING that Michael McLiam can’t do?’

“And when I’ve brought every last dinosaur there
From the desert, the jungle, the sea and the air
I’ll open my Dinosaur Island Museum
And people will flock to my island to see ’em.

“Yes, that’s what I’ll do,” thought young Michael McLiam,
“As soon as we’re done in THIS dusty museum.”

A Tiny, Spiny Dinosaur

A tiny, spiny dinosaur
was racing through my house;
a tiny, spiny dinosaur
no bigger than a mouse.

That tiny, spiny dinosaur,
it leapt up on my bed.
It punched me in the stomach
and it hit me on the head.

It chased me from my bedroom
and pursued me down the stairs.
It knocked the TV over
and it broke a pair of chairs.

I don’t know where it came here from
or how it got inside.
The only thing I know is that
I need a place to hide.

I’ll have to catch that dinosaur
before it gets too late.
But, oh, it found my brother’s room…
I guess that I can wait.

I Tried to Find a Dinosaur

I tried to find a dinosaur.
I started in my yard.
I dug and dug for days and days.
The work was long and hard.

I dug through dirt and mud and muck.
I dug through rocks and soil.
My arms grew sore. My legs grew weak
from all the sweat and toil.

I shoveled tons of gravel out.
I moved a bunch of stones,
until, at last, to my surprise,
I found some fossil bones.

I put the bones together in
my bedroom on the floor.
When I was done, those bones had formed
a half a dinosaur.

My parents weren’t too happy when
I told them of my goal.
I found a half a dinosaur,
but then they found the hole.

My Ugly Pug

My ugly pug’s a snuggly pug.
He likes to snuggle on the rug.
He such a huggy cuddle-bug.
He snuggles all day long.

But though my pug’s a cuddle-bug
who likes to nuzzle up and hug,
my pug is still an ugly pug.
His yucky mug is wrong.

My Dog’s Name Is “Cat”

My dog’s name is “Cat”
and my cat’s name is “Dog.”
My frog’s name is “Mouse”
and my mouse is called “Frog.”

My bird’s name is “Fish”
and my fish is called “Bird.”
I know that you probably
think that’s absurd.

It’s just a tradition
my family has had.
My dad’s name is “Mom”
and my mom’s name is “Dad.”

My Cat Knows Karate

My cat knows karate.
My frog knows kung fu.
My poodle knows judo.
My turtle does too.

They all became black belts
by watching TV;
some Chuck Norris movies,
and films with Bruce Lee.

They liked learning lessons
from Jean-Claude Van Damme,
and acting like action-film star
Jackie Chan.

They practiced their punches,
their blocks, and their kicks
until they were masters
of martial arts tricks.

You’d think they’d be good now
at guarding our house,
but, yesterday morning,
they ran from my mouse.

My mouse is a crack-up.
I laughed at his prank.
Do you think it’s weird that
my mouse drives a tank?

Deep Sea Dance

Down on the ocean floor,
Deep in the sea,
Everybody’s dancing.
Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE!

Barracuda boogies
With the octopus and eel.
Sea horse does a square dance
With the salmon and the seal.

Jiggle goes the jellyfish.
Shimmy goes the snake.
Watch the lobster limbo
And the sea snail shake.

Everybody’s dancing in the
deep, deep dark.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes the shark!

Where did everybody go?
He heard the music play.
He must have missed the party.
They must have gone away.

Shark is all alone upon
This underwater shelf.
That’s alright! Shark is happy
Dancing by himself.

Shark begins to shuffle.
Shark begins to spin.
He flutters with his flipper
And he wiggles with his fin.

He doesn’t look so scary.
He wants to party too!
So barracuda joins him
for a bouncy boogaloo.

Jellyfish then joins in.
So do octopus and eel.
Snake returns to shimmy
With the sea horse and the seal.

Everybody’s dancing
From the salmon to the snail.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes killer whale!

I Took My Doggy for a Walk

I took my doggy for a walk.
I thought it would be fun.
The moment that we got outside
he took off at a run.

I gripped the handle of his leash.
It instantly pulled tight.
My dog was strong. He ran so fast
I practically took flight.

He pulled me through the neighborhood.
(My doggy likes to roam.)
I bumped and bounced and banged around
until he ran back home.

So now I’m bruised and battered
like a ratty, tattered rag.
I took my doggy for a walk.
He took me for a drag.

My Virtual Puppy

I purchased a virtual puppy.
He lives in an app on my phone.
He digs in a virtual garden
to bury a virtual bone.

I feed him with virtual dog food.
I’m teaching him virtual tricks,
like giving me virtual handshakes
and fetching his virtual sticks.

He naps on a virtual sofa.
He likes to chase virtual cats.
Whenever he’s good I reward him
with virtual dog treats and pats.

He’ll bring me the virtual paper.
He’ll chew on a virtual shoe.
There’s only one virtual problem.
I clean up his virtual poo.