While Colin and Casey are practicing catch,
Victoria’s calling a volleyball match.
Brianna and Braden are batting a ball
with racquets and whacking it off of the wall.
While Thomas is doing his Tae-Kwon-Do kicks,
a hockey game’s going with ice skates and sticks.
Roberto and Robin are having a race
and Desmond is dancing all over the place.
Belinda is bouncing a ball on her head.
Fernando and Felix are fencing with Fred.
Jamahl’s playing jump rope with Jasmine and Jack,
and Ricky is running with Bree on his back.
We’re having such fun as we jump, kick, and duel,
we’ve just now discovered we’re all late for school.
We’ve suddenly noticed we’re still not there yet,
and, boy, is the bus driver ever upset.
I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer’s on the blink.
I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn’t looking.
My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.
Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.
Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.
I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
“I think you’ll find it’s easier
to do the work instead.”
My tutor’s a flutist
who toots on a flute
while he tutors computers.
He thinks that it’s cute.
I think he should stick with
computers, not flutes.
It’s cool when he tutors
but rude when he toots.
I came to school today
with my imaginary friend.
When everyone said “hi” to him,
I said, “He’s just pretend.”
But no one seemed to notice,
which I thought was pretty weird.
It turns out he’d imagined me,
and, poof, I disappeared.
Mr. Meecher, science teacher,
made a complicated creature,
like a science fiction feature,
in the classroom yesterday.
It was such a weird creation,
this fantastic formulation
was a magical mutation
that could undulate and sway.
It would wobble, it would wiggle.
It would jostle, it would jiggle,
making all the students giggle
as it bopped and bounced around.
It was stumbling and unstable.
Mr. Meecher was unable
to control it on the table,
and it tumbled to the ground.
It was jamming, it was jumping.
It was boogieing and bumping.
It was thundering and thumping,
like a disco dancing blob.
Mr. Meecher tried to grab it,
but he couldn’t seem to nab it;
It would scramble like a rabbit.
It would duck and weave and bob.
So he gave the thing a kick. It
then became a sticky wicket.
It was tricky, it was quick; it
promptly tackled him instead.
Now you know why Mr. Meecher,
our intrepid science teacher,
has a complicated creature
disco dancing on his head.
This morning is our history test.
I’ve pinned my notes inside my vest.
Inside my coat I wrote my notes,
including dates and famous quotes.
I’ve written more upon my hand
that only I can understand,
and in my socks and sleeves I stowed
my scribbled notes in secret code.
I’ve written down so many names
of winners of Olympic games,
of buildings, people, places too,
from Tennessee to Timbuktu.
I even copied down a piece
on ancient Rome and ancient Greece,
plus everything from Shakespeare’s plays
to who invented mayonnaise.
I came to school so well prepared.
I wasn’t nervous, wasn’t scared.
But here it is, the history test.
I look inside my coat and vest
to get the dates and famous quotes
and find I cannot read my notes.
So much for Shakespeare, Greece and Rome.
I left my glasses back at home.
“Dear students, the summer has ended.
The school year at last has begun.
But this year is totally different.
I promise we’ll only have fun.
“We won’t study any mathematics,
and recess will last all day long.
Instead of the pledge of allegiance,
we’ll belt out a rock-and-roll song.
“We’ll only play games in the classroom.
You’re welcome to bring in your toys.
It’s okay to run in the hallways.
It’s great if you make lots of noise.
“For homework, you’ll play your Nintendo.
You’ll have to watch lots of T.V.
For field trips we’ll go to the movies
and get lots of candy for free.
“The lunchroom will only serve chocolate
and triple fudge sundaes supreme.”
Yes, that’s what I heard from my teacher
before I woke up from my dream.
My teacher ate my homework,
which I thought was rather odd.
He sniffed at it and smiled
with an approving sort of nod.
He took a little nibble —
it’s unusual, but true —
then had a somewhat larger bite
and gave a thoughtful chew.
I think he must have liked it,
for he really went to town.
He gobbled it with gusto
and he wolfed the whole thing down.
He licked off all his fingers,
gave a burp and said, “You pass.”
I guess that’s how they grade you
when you’re in a cooking class.
My robot does my homework.
He helps me every night.
The trouble is he doesn’t get
too many answers right.
He’d probably do better
at homework but, you see,
I built him, so he only knows
the things he learned from me.
My project for the Science Fair
was absolutely cool.
I built myself a time machine
and showed it off at school.
Inventing it was not too hard;
I had a little aid.
My future self came back in time
and showed me how they’re made.