That’s my list
of favorite words,
I really don’t care
what they mean.
I love the way
I tripped on the sheets when I got out of bed.
I tripped on my pants when I tried to get dressed.
I tripped on the stairs and I fell on my head.
I tripped on my shoelace and injured my chest.
I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk this morning.
I tripped on a curbstone while walking to school.
I tripped on a tree root without any warning.
I tripped at the park and I fell in the pool.
I tripped on my backpack. I tripped on my bike.
I tripped on my camera. I tripped on my cat.
I tripped on my train set. I tripped on my trike.
I tripped on my baseball. I tripped on my bat.
I haven’t got money to go on vacations.
If I didn’t trip I’d go nowhere at all.
I may never see other cities or nations,
but this way, at least, I take trips every fall.
When flowers wake each morning
they don’t have to make their beds.
And lettuce leaves aren’t told to comb
the hair upon their heads.
You’d never tell asparagus
it shouldn’t play with spears.
You’d never ask a stalk of corn
to wash behind its ears.
A mushroom doesn’t have to
clean its room, and you’ll agree
a tree won’t have to study hard
to learn geometry.
I guess it should be obvious
from listening to my rant.
I’m tired of being a person;
I would rather be a plant.
In Yankee Stadium they seat
a hundred people, more or less.
That total could be incomplete;
it’s really just a ballpark guess.
Clippity cloppity bippity boop.
Flippity floppity slippity sloop.
Hippity hoppity dippity doop.
Zippity zoppty pippity poop.
Mippity moppity trippity troop.
Lippity loppity vippity voop.
Nippity noppity grippity groop.
Tippity toppity quippity quoop.
Drippity droppity jippity joop.
Blippity bloppity sippity soop.
Yippity yoppity whippity whoop.
I wrote this whole poem so I could say, “poop.”
Brody the emoticon
is famous for his style,
and if you ever meet him,
you will likely see his :-)
But if you come across him
on a day he’s feeling down,
instead of giving you a :-)
he’ll look at you and :-(
On other days he’ll ;-) at you.
He’ll sometimes blow a :-*
and if he’s feeling playful
he’ll stick out his :-P like this.
But, oftentimes, he’s simply bored
and can’t resist a :-O
because there’s nothing else to do
for an emoticon.
My teacher said to calculate
3.141 times 8.
I threw my hand up instantly
and so, of course, she called on me.
She asked me, “What’s the answer, please?”
I’d figured this one out with ease.
I looked her squarely in the eye
and calmly answered, “Octopi!”
It took her half an hour to get it,
and then she gave me extra credit.
While at the sofa factory
I nearly broke my spleen
when I accidentally fell in
an upholstery machine.
I almost died that fateful day
but I survived somehow.
And I’m looking even better, too,
since I’m “recovered” now.
Hickory, dickory, dock.
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one.
Enjoy the pun.
Hickory, dickory, dock.
I grew a foot this summer
and I wish it wasn’t true.
I’m not twelve inches taller,
I just need an extra shoe.