Topic: Wordplay

On the Thirty Third of Januaugust

on-the-33rd-of-janaugust

On the thirty third of Januaugust,
right before Octember,
a strange thing didn’t happen
that I always won’t remember.

At eleven in the afternoon,
while making midnight brunch,
I poured a glass of sandwiches
and baked a plate of punch.

Then I climbed up on my head to see
the silver sky of green,
and danced around my feet because
I’d turned eleventeen.

A parade began to end
and music started not to play,
as rain came out and snowed all night
that warm and sunny day.

That was how it didn’t happen
as I keenly don’t remember,
on the thirty third of Januaugust,
right before Octember.

Gabby’s Baby Beagle

Gabby bought a baby beagle
at the beagle baby store.
Gabby gave her beagle kibble,
but he begged for bagels more.

Gabby loved her baby beagle;
gladly Gabby gave him one,
but her beagle grabbed the bag and
gulped them down till there were none.

So she took her baby beagle
to the bagel baker’s store,
where the beagle gobbled bagels,
bags of bagels by the score.

Gabby’s beagle gorged on bagels,
bigger bagels than before,
till he’d gobbled every bagel
in the baker’s bagel store.

Gulping bagels bulges baby
beagles’ bellies really big.
Say goodbye to baby beagle;
Gabby’s beagle’s now a pig.

Speak When This Way Talk Do I

Speak when this way talk do I
so, if converse do we,
you’ll talk to need to this way try
to talk with have a me.

It strange may somewhat first at sound
but for it try a bit.
It’s this way fun I’ve talk to found.
I’ve done my life all it.

It’s understand to hard know I
but and you’ll try it see.
If sideways talk you can to try,
it’s talk with fun to me.

Slim Sam’s Ship Shop

Slim Sam’s Ship Shop
sells Sam’s shrimp ships.
Trim Tom’s Chip Shop
sells Tom’s shrimp chips.

Slick Nick’s Snack Shack
sells Nick’s stick snacks.
Doc Jacques’ Slack Shack
sells Jacques’ black slacks.

Nick shops Jacques’ shack.
Jacques sells Nick slacks.
Jacques shops Nick’s shack.
Nick sells Jacques snacks.

Sam skips Tom’s shop.
Tom’s shrimp chips drop.
Tom skips Sam’s shop.
Sam’s shrimp ships flop.

Nick swaps snacks for
Doc Jacques’ black slacks.
Jacques’ swaps slacks for
Slick Nick’s stick snacks.

Sam, Tom skip shop?
Chips drop, ships flop.
Nick, Jacques shop shacks?
Slacks and snacks swap.

Maine Event

A man was getting married
to his fiancée in Maine.
He stepped upon her wedding dress
and there he caught the train.

He rode the train to Kansas
with its amber fields of grain,
so when he disembarked
he found he’d landed in a plain.

He flew the plane to Norway,
and was greeted by the Norse,
But Norway’s rather chilly
so he got a little hoarse.

He claimed that he could ride the horse,
but as the man was tryin’,
they saw that he had told a fib,
which means they caught him lyin’.

He saddled up the lion
but because it had no rein,
he held onto the lion’s fur
so now he’s back in Maine.

Stumblebum Stan

I’m Stumblebum Stan, the Invisible Man.
How I love to draw pictures and paint.
I sell every sketch and the money they fetch
is so much you would probably faint.

I’m rather surprised, that my art is so prized
and I laugh all the way to the bank.
All the pictures I draw are exactly alike
because all I can draw is a blank.

I Play Gel Legions

I play gel legions tutor flack
hover you knighted steaks hover miracle,
hand tutory public far witches tans,
worn Asian, hunter cod, indy visible,
whiff lip or tea hand just sticks far hall.

At least, I think that’s how it goes.

What I Told Mrs. Morris When She Asked How I Was Feeling Today

“Grumbly, grouchy,
groggy, grumpy,
sleepy, slouchy,
fussy, frumpy,
whiny, weary,
cranky, crazy,
dingy, dreary,
loopy, lazy,
dizzy, drowsy,
crusty, crummy,
loony, lousy,
scruffy, scummy,
bleary, batty,
shaky, shabby,
rusty, ratty,
cruddy, crabby.
That describes it,
Mrs. Morris.
Thank you for the
new thesaurus.”

Swimming Ool

Swimming Ool

Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to “B,”
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can “C.”
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of “T.”
Now the pool is just an “ool”
because I took a “P.”

Lousy Catcher’s Mitt

I bought myself a catcher’s mitt
so I could catch a ball.
But all I ever caught were things
I didn’t want at all.

I caught a fish, I caught a cab;
just how I can’t explain.
I caught my brother telling lies,
I even caught a train.

I caught a show, I caught a crook,
I caught the evening news.
I caught my sister kissing boys,
and then I caught a snooze.

Come see my lousy catcher’s mitt:
a wonder to behold!
I’ve never caught a single ball,
and now I’ve caught a cold!