I bought myself a catcher's mitt
so I could catch a ball.
But all I ever caught were things
I didn't want at all.

I caught a fish, I caught a cab;
just how I can't explain.
I caught my brother telling lies,
I even caught a train.

I caught a show, I caught a crook,
I caught the evening news.
I caught my sister kissing boys,
and then I caught a snooze.

Come see my lousy catcher's mitt:
a wonder to behold!
I've never caught a single ball,
and now I've caught a cold!

--Kenn Nesbitt

This poem appears in the book
The Aliens Have Landed!