I got a new girlfriend, though I don't like girls.
I haven't much money, but I buy her pearls.

I'm always embarrassed, but I give her flowers,
and talk on the phone every evening for hours.

We go to the movies, and she gets to pick.
She wants to hold hands, though it makes me feel sick.

She likes when I smell good, so I take a bath.
I do what she asks me, and she does my math.

--Kenn Nesbitt

This poem appears in the book
Revenge of the Lunch Ladies