I'm staying home from school today.
I'd rather be in bed
pretending that I have a pain
that's pounding in my head.

I'll say I have a stomach ache.
I'll claim I've got the flu.
I'll shiver like I'm cold
and hold my breath until I'm blue.

I'll fake a cough. I'll fake a sneeze.
I'll say my throat is sore.
If necessary I can throw
a tantrum on the floor.

I'm sure I'll get away with it.
Of that, there's little doubt.
But, even so, I really hope
my students don't find out.

--Kenn Nesbitt

This poem appears in the book
Revenge of the Lunch Ladies