All My Great Excuses

A Funny School Poem for Kids

From the book Revenge of the Lunch Ladies

I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer's on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn't looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
"I think you'll find it's easier
to do the work instead."

--Kenn Nesbitt


Copyright © 2007 Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.

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This poem appears in the book
Revenge of the Lunch Ladies


On Sep 26, 2014 aarush from India wrote:
so funny
On Aug 26, 2014 Elsa Samur from u.s.a wrote:
i love this poem very much
On Jul 28, 2014 Tanya from India wrote:
just awesome dude! I think those are the perfect ones I should try!
On Jul 28, 2014 Sarah from Australia wrote:
HAHA!!!So funny.I think I should use so of these if I ever forget my homework. I like the rhythm and rhyme used in this fantastic poem.
On Jul 15, 2014 Niara from U.S.A. wrote:
Haha, so funny! Maybe I should use some of these excuses...

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Reading Level of this Poem

Teachers may find this information useful. Please note that Lexile Measures are intended for prose, not poetry. So, technically, the Lexile Measure of any poem should be NP (for non-prose). Nevertheless, this information is frequently requested, so I provide the Lexile Measure for this poem as if it were prose. The Grade Level Average, below, may be a more accurate guide to the reading level of this poem.

Lexile Text Measure: 570L
  Grade Level Measures
ATOS Level: 3.7
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 3.9
Gunning-Fog Index: 7.2
SMOG Index: 5.4
Automated Readability Index: 3.2
Grade Level Average: 4.7
  Text Statistics
Word Count: 127 words
Line Count: 24 lines
Average Line Length: 5.3 words
Average Sentence Length: 8.5 words
Average Word Length: 4.2 letters


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