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All My Great Excuses

A Funny School Poem for Kids

From the book Revenge of the Lunch Ladies

I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer's on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn't looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
"I think you'll find it's easier
to do the work instead."

--Kenn Nesbitt

 

Copyright © 2007 Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.


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This poem appears in the book
Revenge of the Lunch Ladies


Comments

On Apr 11, 2014 priyansh from india wrote:
wow so cooooooool
On Apr 4, 2014 Shane from North Carolina wrote:
IM USING ONE
On Mar 27, 2014 Kritika from India wrote:
It is so funny i will recite it in my school
On Mar 26, 2014 troy from nz wrote:
this is so awesome!!!!
On Mar 20, 2014 Elizabeth from Australia wrote:
I'm using it for school!!!

Use This Poem

Would you like to use this poem in your classroom? Would you like permission to reprint, record, recite or broadcast this poem, or set it to music? Please click on one of the following links for permissions and reprint rights information:


Reading Level of this Poem

Teachers may find this information useful. Please note that Lexile Measures are intended for prose, not poetry. So, technically, the Lexile Measure of any poem should be NP (for non-prose). Nevertheless, this information is frequently requested, so I provide the Lexile Measure for this poem as if it were prose. The Grade Level Average, below, may be a more accurate guide to the reading level of this poem.

Lexile Text Measure: 570L
  
 Grade Level Measures
ATOS Level: 3.7
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 3.9
Gunning-Fog Index: 7.2
SMOG Index: 5.4
Automated Readability Index: 3.2
Grade Level Average: 4.7
  
 Text Statistics
Word Count: 127 words
Line Count: 24 lines
Average Line Length: 5.3 words
Average Sentence Length: 8.5 words
Average Word Length: 4.2 letters
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Current Score: 4 stars (4.19)
Votes: 13654

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