Please Don't Read This Poem

From the book The Armpit of Doom

Please don't read this poem.
It's only meant for me.
That's it. Just move along now.
There's nothing here to see.

Besides, I'm sure you'd rather
just go outside and play.
So put the poem down now
and slowly back away.

Hey, why are you still reading?
That isn't very nice.
I've asked you once politely.
Don't make me ask you twice.

I'm telling you, it's private.
Do not read one more line.
Hey! That's one more. Now stop it.
This isn't yours; it's mine.

You're not allowed to read this.
You really have to stop.
If you don't quit this instant,
I swear I'll call a cop.

He'll drag you off in handcuffs.
He'll lock you up in jail,
and leave you there forever
until you're old and frail.

Your friends will all forget you.
You won't be even missed.
Your family, too, will likely
forget that you exist.

And all because you read this
instead of having fun.
It's too late now, amigo;
the poem's nearly done.

There's only one solution.
Here's what you'll have to do:
Tell all your friends and family
they shouldn't read it too.

--Kenn Nesbitt

 

Copyright 2008 Kenn Nesbitt. All Rights Reserved.


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This poem appears in the book
The Armpit of Doom


Comments

On Apr 16, 2014 alex medrano from texas wrote:
this is a good poem it rhythmes alot.
On Apr 16, 2014 Leo Messi from messi islands wrote:
using this poem 4 my poetry cafe at school! its awesome and hilarious!
On Apr 11, 2014 akram from canada wrote:
it's a really awesome poem it's cool
On Apr 8, 2014 Hiba from USA wrote:
This is a good poem.
On Apr 2, 2014 Kate Lynn warren from Rockwell wrote:
This poem is sooooooo awesome

Use This Poem

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Reading Level of this Poem

Teachers may find this information useful. Please note that Lexile Measures are intended for prose, not poetry. So, technically, the Lexile Measure of any poem should be NP (for non-prose). Nevertheless, this information is frequently requested, so I provide the Lexile Measure for this poem as if it were prose. The Grade Level Average, below, may be a more accurate guide to the reading level of this poem.

Lexile Text Measure: 240L
   
  Grade Level Measures
ATOS Level: 2.3
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 1.2
Gunning-Fog Index: 3.9
SMOG Index: 3.2
Automated Readability Index: 2.1
Grade Level Average: 2.5
   
  Text Statistics
Word Count: 190 words
Line Count: 36 lines
Average Line Length: 5.3 words
Average Sentence Length: 7 words
Average Word Length: 4.2 letters

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