A rock makes an excellent puppy.
They're practically almost the same.
Except that a puppy's rambunctious;
a rock is a little more tame.

It's true that a rock's not as hyper.
It may not chase after a ball.
And, often as not, when you call it,
it won't even hear you at all.

And maybe it doesn't roll over,
and isn't excited to play,
but rocks always sit when you tell them,
and rocks really know how to stay.

It may sleep a little bit longer.
It probably eats a bit less.
But rocks never pee on the carpet.
You won't have to pick up their mess.

So go ask your folks for a puppy,
and possibly that's what you'll get.
But, still, if you can't have a puppy,
a rock is a pretty good pet.

It doesn't annoy you with barking;
it quietly sits on a shelf.
A rock makes an excellent puppy.
That's what I keep telling myself.

--Kenn Nesbitt

This poem appears in the book
The Tighty-Whitey Spider