Advice from Dracula
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From the book The Aliens Have Landed at Our School!
Don’t ever dine with Frankenstein;
He feasts on flaming turpentineturpentine A thin oil obtained from the wood or sap of certain pine trees and used as a paint thinner or solvent..
He chomps and chews on soles of shoes,
and quaffsquaff to drink (a beverage) copiously and heartily. down quarts of oily ooze.
At suppertime he’ll slurp some slime.
He’s known to gnaw on gristlygristle cartilage, especially in meats. grime.
His meals of mud and crispy crud
will curl your hair and chill your blood.
His poison, pungentpungent sharply affecting the organs of taste or smell, as if by a penetrating power; biting; acrid., putridputrid in a state of foul decay or decomposition, as animal or vegetable matter; rotten. snacks
may cause you seizuresseizure a sudden attack, as of epilepsy or some other disease. and attacks.
Your hair may turn completely white.
You may pass outpass out to become unconscious; faint. or scream in fright.
Your skin will crawl.
Your throat will burn.
Your eyes will bulge.
Your guts will churn.
Your teeth will clench.
Your knees will shake.
Your hands will sweat.
Your brain will bake.
You’ll cringe and cry.
You’ll moan and whine.
You’ll feel a chill
run down your spine.
You’ll lose your lunchlose your lunch vomit. throw up..
You’ll lose your headlose your head go crazy. become out of control..
and dine with ME instead.
— Kenn Nesbitt
Copyright © 2001. All Rights Reserved.
Reading Level: Grade 2
From the Book The Aliens Have Landed at Our School!
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