Olympic Granny

A Funny Olympics Poem for Kids

Rate this poem
2729 votes

From the book My Cat Knows Karate

When Grandma goes for gold in
The Olympic games this year,
She’ll laugh at her competitors
And make them quakequake to shake or tremble from cold, weakness, fear, anger, or the like. with fear.

She’s ninety-nine years old
But, in athletics, she’s been blessed.
The trouble is she can’t decide
Which sport she plays the best.

She’s such an ace at archery.
She’s queen of the canoe.
She’s tough to top at taekwondotaekwondo a Korean martial art, a particularly aggressive form of karate, that utilizes punches, jabs, chops, blocking and choking moves, and especially powerful, leaping kicks.
And table tennistable tennis ping pong. too.

She dominatesdominate to rule over; govern; control. the diving board.
She tromps the trampoline.
At lifting weights and wrestling
She’s the best you’ve ever seen.

She speeds across the swimming pool
To slakeslake to cool or refresh. the summer heat.
On BMX and mountain bike
She simply can’t be beat.

She’s highest in the high jump,
And a champ at hammer throwing,
Magnificent in marathons,
Remarkable at rowing.

She beats the best at boxing.
At the pole vault she is peerlesspeerless having no equal; matchless; unrivaled..
Her fencing is the finest;
She is positively fearless.

She’s masterfulmasterful having or showing the qualities of a master; authoritative; powerful. at basketball,
She truly rules the court,
And equally incredible
At every other sport.

But what we find astonishing
And something of a shocker
Is how she wins all contests
With her wheelchair and her walker.

 — Kenn Nesbitt

Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved.

Reading Level: Grade 5

Topics: Poems about Friends and Family, Sports

Poetic Techniques: Alliteration, Descriptive Poems, Irony, Narrative Poems


From the Book My Cat Knows Karate

Use This Poem

Would you like to use this poem in your classroom? Would you like permission to reprint, record, recite or broadcast this poem, or set it to music? Please click on one of the following links for permissions and reprint rights information: